File folders and tampons and knees - oh my!

This is how I started my day yesterday.

I got to work.
I printed out my schedule.
I picked up a file folder and got a giant, nasty papercut on my palm.
It started bleeding like hell.
I opened my purse to grab a tissue to staunch said bleeding, completely forgetting I had stuffed it full of tampons to avoid a "bad situation" at work (as I had experienced the previous day, in which there were no tampons to be found anyyyyyyyywhere).
Tampons came flying out of my purse and started raining down on me and everywhere in my cube.
I started running around MY CUBE (imagine that), trying to pick up the tampons that were getting sprinkled with paper-cut blood before my coworkers saw.
I heard the printer and ran to grab my schedule before anyone else felt the need to get up and tend to the printer.
And I fell. Hard. On my face, between all the cubes, with people up and down the hall staring at me.
And my coworker - you know, one of the ones that I was trying to make sure DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING, yelled "OH MY GOD!!!" so even more people popped up to see what the ruckus was.
I crawled back to my cube, in pain and ready to throw up, and sat amongst the tampons, hoping to die.

I did not die. Sigh.

How was your day?